In The Beginning:

In order to make the perfect robot I needed the perfect process of creation. I studied the process by which clay golems are created and modified it to suite my needs.

I started out by purchasing the parts for the golem that I would need.

This picture and all others are taken by my friend C-Bone

The instructions for a golem call for purified water and clay. I was not making my robot out of clay but I soaked the parts in Britta filtered water for three hours.

The instructions called for a pure white robe, so I put on a brand new white shirt and fashioned a kilt out of aluminum foil.

Damn Sexy

You're welcome

I should point out that it was a kilt and not a skirt. I cannot emphasize this enough. Don't listen to C-Bone. He is a jackass.

Anyway, I then did the robot for 77 minutes. It was not in the instructions but I figured the robot gods would be more likely to help me if I demonstrated my mad moves.

The robot gods dig a man who can kick it

After I had assembled all the pieces, I chanted the 231 syllable name of God.

At first I felt a slight tingle but then suddenly found myself on the floor. C-Bone said boils had appeared all over my body and I had started screaming in tongues. Then he says blood shot out of my eyes and mouth, and formed into a demon who called me a blasphemer and said my soul was forfeit.

C-Bone is a damn liar. I think I would remember something like that if it happened.

Anyway, my robot was a success beyond my wildest dreams. I decided to name it Tobor Jr. I figured it was appropriate since he was the next generation in robot. I also felt people were even more likely to underestimate a robot with Jr. in its name. I then changed my mind when it occurred to me that Tobor Jr. would never appreciate his name unless he had to earn it. For the time being, I decided to call him RJ Robot. My hope was that he would quickly earn the name Tobor Jr.

Mwahahahahahaha

With my robot fully functioning, I began my journal of his progress. You can see his progress on the next page...OF DOOM!