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Diary:
Day 1:
RJ is a success. I decided to throw him a birthday party. After digging around in my couch for a while I came up with a broken watch, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle throwing star, and an Ace of Base single. I am sure RJ was thrilled. I told him only tough robots get cake and since he is soft he doesn't get any. I then took away his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle throwing star and told him I would break it if he did not shape up fast. This is going to be great.
RJ failing to fully appreciate my generosity
Damn piece of crap disposable camera
Day 2:
Today I started projectile vomiting and swearing uncontrollably. I think I have that flu that is going around. I then had crazy dreams where angels stabbed me in the head with spears and called me a pussy. I was forced to miss my favorite class in the whole wide world, Weird Science. Today is truly a dark day.
Day 3:
I decided to tell RJ that his mother is the Laura Prepon android (TV's Donna from That 70's Show). RJ wanted to know why she did not live with us so I told him it was because he was bad and she was ashamed of him. I then told him to watch the show and look for the secret messages she was leaving for him. Whenever she moved her left hand it meant that she hated him. When she moved her right hand it meant that she wished he was dead. If she moved both hands she was ashamed to be his mother and when she moved neither hand she was very disappointed in him. I hope this will motivate him to try harder from now on.
With and without faceplate
Her Mission:
Infiltrate, Seduce, DESTROY
Day 4:
I was very pissed off today when I found out that RJ had oiled his bed. Actually it is not a bed, as much as it is a pile of dirty socks I make him sleep on.
I hear Hitler had a problem with this too, so I have not yet lost hope
I was really mad that this happened because RJ is not a baby anymore. He is four days old now after all. I realized that the only possible explanation for this was that RJ was trying to humiliate me. Punishment, therefore, was the only reasonable solution.
Look at the little baby! HA ha HA! Who's laughing now RJ!
Who's laughing NOW!!
I put RJ in a dress and made him sit in his own oil all day long. Whenever I walked by I would be sure to say "Look at the pretty girl. All frilled up in her dress. Oh sick. She is a filthy bed oiler!"
Day 5:
Today I tried to get RJ to kill my friend Carrie. I did not want Carrie dead but I knew that RJ needed a first kill to make a real robot out of him. Sadly it did not work. I left them alone for three hours and when I came back they were watching Ever After and fucking RJ was crying his eyes out like a little bitch. It was revolting. That stupid robot is never going to amount to anything.
I hate that stupid robot
Day 6:
Today I decided to expose RJ to harsh weather conditions. I forgot about him after a few hours and he ended up staying in the simulator all day. Oops.
Just in case he has to beat up the king of Alaska
Day 7:
I am starting to have fears that RJ would never be any good at combat. Today I had him do some chores around the house.
RJ misses a spot. He cannot do anything right.
I ended up having to whip RJ which takes about as much energy as doing the chores myself. Why can't that robot do just one thing right!
Cry all you want. You have this coming.
Day 8:
Today I got really drunk on Captain Morgan Gold and danced around naked in front of RJ. The original picture I posted here had a butt shot but I had to remove it due to "excessive sexiness" according to the Webmaster.
RJ looks scared. I wonder why?
As the night went on, I got drunker and became more . . . well, just see for yourself.
Oh yeah
On a personal note, I think censorship is a bad thing. It is a crime for such sexy pictures to be edited by an unfeeling webmaster. I understand that the picture of me in my kilt was already criminally sexy and any more sexiness would not be tolerated but that is no excuse to deprive the net of my beautiful backside.
The Webmaster and the Web-blaster
Together they rule Thunderdome
Well I say that no Webmaster can keep me down. You just ride your retard out the door because we do not need freaky midgets making all of our decisions. We are all adults and robots here.
Day 9:
Today I was really mad at RJ so I removed his arms and legs and let him flail around on the floor. It was a real hoot. I am starting to lose my faith in RJ. I no longer believe he will be able to overthrow Tobor or even Robbie the Robot for that matter.
Squirm you little gimp
Day 10:
Today I decided to give RJ one more chance. I told him that if he executed his stuffed bunny I would love him again. The little bastard just started crying and going on about how he finally understands what love really is. I was so mad that I stuffed his rabbit down the garbage disposal and turned it on. RJ was not very happy about that but I no longer care what that little turd thinks.
SHOOT you stupid robot! SHOOT!
Later RJ came to me and said he forgave me and that things are just things and friendship is more important. Dammit. I thought he was going to try to kill me. The little bastard has failed me again. Mother of fucking crap, what do I have to do to make the perfect robot?
Day 11:
Today RJ was eating his energon cubes very loudly. How I hate him. Everything he does disgusts me.
I make the shrimp eat off the floor
Only real robots get to eat on tables
Stupid RJ
He was pissing me off so I made him stand in the corner and he actually DID IT! What a wimp! How could I have created such an incredibly wussy robot!
Stupid obedient robot
I am now sure that RJ will never be half the robot Tobor is. My project is a failure. I do not blame myself, only RJ. I tried and he did not.
Let this be a lesson to all of you. Even the most brilliant plan in the world can be ruined by a small dickless robot . . . Wait . . . DICKLESS. I am such an idiot. I didnšt give him a dick. Oh fuck me! I will have to start again. No wonder this did not work. I am sorry for wasting everyone's time. My bad.
 
Two robots that have dicks
Look at them go!
Update:
I tried several times to get RJ a new dick, but I had no sucess. I tried staples, fishhooks, and thumb tacks but RJ's body kept rejecting the penises I built for him. After just a few hours they would shrivel up and fall off.
I felt that there was no hope for RJ since his body kept rejecting his penises. I think his pussyness was incompatible with having a dick. Then I had a brilliant idea. I decided to start a male escort service that provides handsom men for lonely women. I call this site No Fatties.
Here is the site.
Now here is my plan. The site will certainly get a large mass of hate mail and it is my hope that all those e-mails going to the same place at the same time will cause space to collapse in on itself and form a wormhole. It should be a really big one too and will probably swallow up most of our solar system.
I will use the wormhole to travel through time and stop myself from building a dickless robot named RJ. With any luck, this reality will fade and a new reality will take its place. A reality where Tobor Jr. rules the world with an iron hand and all fear my creation.
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