It
has been a life long dream of mine to prove the existence of the Abominable
Texas Snowman. When I was a small child and my other friends were attempting
to find Santa Clause, I spent all my time on the ATSM; so after years of research
one can imagine how delighted I was to finally track down the elusive creature
and brutally murder it in front of its young.
What better Christmas gift could the random bounty hunter have brought me than
the freshly traumatized off spring of ATSM? Nothing. Certain
skeptics may ask why we spent all this time tracking down the creature just
to kill it. Many great minds face this question and the answer
is blatantly obvious.
The way to learn the most about something is to destroy it. If that
something/someone is different from us all the more reason to hasten its eradication.
It's what civilized people do. Judging from previous research and the
creature's reaction before its brains were blown out, it appeared to possess
intelligence equal to that of humans and perhaps even a culture and language
of its own. This makes our elimination of the beast all the more impressive
since it clearly had the capability to fight back, but being an inferior
being, did not have the aptitude for violence that we did. After
the vivisection of the creature's young, we can proudly place the Abominable
Texas Snow Men on the list of extinct species, thus cementing its(and our) place
in history.
Godspeed,
-Dr. Travis S. Bible