Urban archaeologists discovered this artifact on a garbage research project in Beverly Hills, California, on November 13, 1991. Due to the odd nature of this particular model ("EZY-Bulk" Penis Pump with combination "EZY-Flow" Compact Hose and modified "EZY-Seal" Rubber Penile Contact Sheath with Pleasurenodes™), researchers were able to trace back the serial number using the manufacturer's warranty records to one Anton La Vey, self-proclaimed Satanist and Media Celebrity. A man of mystery and seduction, there are no official records of La Vey's age or origins. Graduate students at a university in Awkypaw, Florida hypothesized that La Vey's rare physical condition -- being an 'Alpha Male' (a human male with one extra male chromosome) -- may have caused him to live far beyond the average lifespan of ordinary Homo sapiens.

Further research into this unique condition provided possible explanations for Mr. La Vey's paraphernalia, for, although being an Alpha Male afforded La Vey "gifts of extraordinary powers and supernatural abilities," historical records of personal acquaintances (Ms. Jayne Mansfield) revealed that this condition had "disadvantages in other areas." Actress Mansfield and Satanist La Vey reportedly saw quite a lot of each other, a 'hot topic' in post-McArthyist Hollywood. La Vey often referred to her with the endearment, "my little loathsome, ghastly starlet." The magazine clipping to the left was found with the penis pump; scrawled across the back in La Vey's sloppy script, "Me and Janie 1964." Some believe that the penis pump in question, due to its proximity to the magic phallus of Anton La Vey, absorbed and ceaselessly emanates a powerful magnetic field, in effect acting as an Orgone distributor. One accumulates its benefits by merely stepping into its presence, and will notice an increase in sensuality and sexual prowess; likewise, touching the penis pump will send a channel of Orgone energy directly to the Root chakra and may result in immediate arousal. Your curators pay no mind to such superstition, but viewers on pilgrimage to the sources of La Vey's postmortal fragments may touch or otherwise utilize the pump at their leisure.