My third project was a life ray.

I don't know if you're familiar with life ray technology, but it's pretty complicated. The basic gist of it is simple though. Essentially, you point it at something, and that thing comes to life. However, in order to power it- because of the particular physics and Chaos involved- you need to install an anomalometer.

The anomalometer is a device which randomly inserts anamolies into your results. That's not technically true, but it's good enough for government work, and the real truth of the matter would probably destroy your mind.

My first test run with the Life Ray was to shoot it at a rock. It was definitely a success, the rock jumped up and began dancing around, but that damned anomalometer sent it back to 1980. Once there, if I understand my tabloids, it was discovered by Jack Q. Pulsington and turned into the Pet Rock. He made millions.

So, my second test run I decided to document. I had just been reading Calvin and Hobbes that day, and it had given me a great idea. I could clone myself with the ray, and get the clone to do all my chores: take out the trash, clean my apartment, etc.

In order to do this I set up a camera that went into my television. I stood in front of it, and the projected image of myself was to be the subject of the life ray's ray. However, onc again I didn't account for that stupid anomalometer. The thing went haywire, destroyed the gun and, as far as I can tell, completely failed to do its job. The TV went crazy after being zapped and sent the video I've put up on this website back into the camera. I put it up there in the hopes that someone will be able to decode just what exactly happened, so that Life Ray technology might be improved and I might not have to take out my own garbage at 3 in the morning.