But first, let me tell you about project number 2.

So I didn't know how to build a story around my experience with my psychics. One of them felt very positive, nurturing and helpful. The other one kind of made me feel like I was trying to uncover her as a sham, and she told me I had to pay her more money for psychic purgings that she tried to convince me I needed. How was I going to turn this into a story that anyone would find remotely interesting? With sock puppets of course. I made two sock puppets one to describe one experience with one psychic, the other to explain the other experience. That's basically how I felt about the situation. I felt like I was two different people during my readings, so I split myself into the open-minded and inquisitive black sock, and the critical and jaded white sock. I chose those colors for very particular reasons. Why do you think I chose them? Here's the script for the socks:

BLACK: "Hey, what the FUCK!?!"

WHITE: "Dude, why you listenin' to this shit? You ain't no senior citizen, here, dude, lemme put on my groove!"

White proceeds to put on Nirvana's "Negative Creep." After a few seconds of indulgence, Black stops the stereo and asks White if he's done the project.

BLACK: "So did you do the project?"

WHITE: "Yeah, but I didn't follow directions."

BLACK: "Ah me neither dude, but I don't think it really matters in this class. I think she gives you rules on how to do the project just so you'll have direction...I think she grades more on how much creativity and effort you put into your project than following simple rules. Dogs and monkeys can follow simple rules.

WHITE: "So are you done rambling yet?"

BLACK: "Yeah."

WHITE: "Good. So who'd you see?"

BLACK: "Well, my TV station did a story not too long ago about this psychic who connects you with your guardian angels, and I thought it would be more esoteric if I saw someone who could connect me with divinity through my aura instead my hands."

WHITE: "SNORE!!! Uh oh, were you talking? Come on dude, that's ridiculous! Guardian Angels? What the shit is that? Everybody knows that the most powerful psychics are affiliated with Satan!"

BLACK: "Oh really...well just what kind of wicked sorceress did you go see?"

WHITE: "Her Gypsy black hair was as dark as a moonless sky, and before she read to me her demonic diviniations, she drank from a golden chalais of blood, that she filled by slicing her own wrist!"

BLACK: "Dude, you're so full of shit..."

WHITE: "So I'm yankin' yer chain...big deal... mine was a real Jesus freak, too. So what'd yours tell you?"

BLACK: "Well, mine sat me down and told me that I was very tenacious, an extremely loyal friend with a strong honor code, I had a quick, but not hot and angry temper, and that a lot of the anger I carry around in me, I carry it from my childhood."

WHITE: "Whoa...that's like soooo deep...So what did your 'Guardian Angels' have to say?"

BLACK: "Well, she told me I had three angels, two behind my shoulders, and one atop my head, and the top one was trying to push me towards something, and the other two angels held the tools I needed to go on my journey."

WHITE: "So what's your big mission?"

BLACK: "Free Will. The angel atop my head is named Tabris, guardian of Free Will. The two behind me that push me along as Tabris guides me are Raguel, the angel of judgement and decision-making, and Dumah, the angel of silence."

WHITE: "Yeah, I think it's time you listened to Dumah at this point, broham, and let yours truly tell you about my psychic connection..."

BLACK: "Oh please enlighten me on the bridge your psychic built between you and the knowledge of the nether world...."

WHITE: "Well, that's the funny thing...I can't."

BLACK: "What the shit kind of answer is that? I told you what mine said...Are you just too stoned to remember?"

WHITE: "Fuck off, you know I'm clean, it's just that the chick said that what she told me was strictly between 'The Holy Spirit and myself' and that I couldn't let anyone know what the message was, and since I don't wanna be fuckin' with shit I don't understand, I don't wanna risk that woman leaving a curse on me or some shit, so instead of waking up tomorrow with frogs coming out of my ass or some shit, I'll just do what the nice medium told me and keep it to myself."

BLACK: "Man, if that isn't the biggest load of horse-shit I've ever heard come out of your mouth...dude, you know as well as I do you can't keep secrets, so just tell me what she fuckin' said and let's move on with our short-ass lives..."

WHITE: "Nope, sorry man, I ain't even gonna play that game, cuz if I've learned anything in this life, it's never fuck with a gypsy."

BLACK: "Whatever dude...it's not like I cared anyway..."

WHITE: "WELL OK, OK DAMN dude, you didn't have to beat it outta me like that...I won't tell you what she said, but I'll tell you what I said to her..."

BLACK: "Ok, I'll bite, so how'd it go down?"

WHITE: "Well, she asked me which type of reading I wanted, and she explained the price differences between palm readings, card readings, runes, and an assortment of gemmed wands, ascending in price as she went on, but re-assuring me that each was more thorough than the one before."

BLACK: "So which one did you pick?"

WHITE: "I picked a $40 wand reading."

BLACK: "Ha ha, you sucker, you had to pay for yours!"

WHITE: "Yeah, well fuck you."

BLACK: "Dude, you shoulda told her you were doing it as a class project and she might have given you a discount. I explained it like that to my psychic, and she gave me a free reading!"

WHITE: "Well ain't you just the shit...I tried that line on this psychic, but she got all uptight and said that I couldn't share what she revealed to me with anyone, because it was personally for me from the Holy Spirit and I couldn't share it with anyone."

BLACK: "So what did she tell you to do?"

WHITE: "She asked me to grab the end of the wand on her velvet draped table and ask her a question. She also told me to think of another question but not say it aloud."

BLACK: "So what'd ya ask?"

WHITE: "I asked if the woman I loved were the one meant for me."

BLACK: "Awww, how cute..."

WHITE: "Yeah, fuck off."

BLACK: "So what'd she tell ya?"

WHITE: "Nah-ah, I ain't fallin' for that shit, I ain't gonna tell you what she said...but I will tell you that what she told me led me to ask whether the woman who'd cursed me long ago was either a relative or a former lover, and whether she'd cursed me or my family."

BLACK: "Whoa...that's intense."

WHITE: "Yeah, man, and that ain't even scratchin' the surface of some of the shit this woman was telling me...She got pretty apprehensive, and guessed I'd seen another psychic before her, and she got uncomfortable when she asked me what kind of work I was in and if I was going to do a report on the news about her, so I guess she was kinda hip to the fact I was going to write about her."

BLACK: "Intense inded..."

WHITE: "Yeah, I left her place feelin' kinda weird because I had to tell her I couldn't afford the $90 spiritual cleansing, but she seemed understanding when I told her I was broke."

BLACK: "Well that's kinda cool that she was understanding and shit."

WHITE: "Yeah, so are ya gonna have your cards read?"

BLACK: "Yeah, but I ain't gonna pay anyone to do it cuz my ass is broke, too. Besides, I don't trust other people to read my cards, I feel more comfortable reading my own."

WHITE: "Oh wow, you read cards? Dude, can you read my fortune?"

BLACK: "Totally, come on dude, let's go tempt fate."