Subject: gender: more on del
From: Emily Morrison (Emorrison@mail.utexas.edu)
Date: Wed Sep 15 1999 - 22:01:04 CDT
Wow, I don't usually like being inundated with mail from listserves, but
this really is fun.
I just wanted to say along the lines of the remarks that Lindsey brought up
that I was really disturbed by Del's generalizations about "G-A-Y" men. My
brain is somewhat fuzzy now about his presentation, but I do recall him
describing his husband as queer to which someone asked him to clarify the
difference between queer and gay. He then went on to say that queer is a
matter of style (which I very much disagree with) and that gay ("G-A-Y")
signifies male homosexuals who are fully complicit with capitalist consumer
culture and only concerned about their bodies and "ridiculous" causes like
gays in the military and gay marriage (though I too feel no need to spend
my energy on either of those two issues). I felt like Del really did a
disservice to gays (and to lesbians that I presume would fall under the
G-A-Y category as far as their political beliefs go). First of all, living
your life as an out homosexual is an extremely important (and difficult)
political act (in my opinion)- it is not as though homosexuality is by any
means wholeheartedly accepted (duh). Second, I realize that some members
of the G-A-Y community may in fact live their lives in ways that fully and
blindly support the capitalist and male-dominated systems currently in
place in our society regardless of their sexual orientation - but DON'T WE
ALL in so many ways? Third, I personally feel as though his attacks (and
so many of the attacks others (and myself sometimes) feel compelled to make
on various groups of people) on G-A-Ys and women make no progress
whatsoever in getting people to LISTEN. Change is a long, slow process and
it doesn't always involve categorically writing people off because they are
in a different place than you.
And, since there has been discussion on why people did not confront Del
about his inflammatory remarks, I feel that I should explain why I didn't
go there either. Basically, I was so taken aback that I could hardly
speak. Also, I felt (after I got over my shock) that I could just let him
have his opinion and do his presentation and take what I wanted. I didn't
know how to address that without being confrontational which is not what I
wanted to be. I'm not sure if that's because I as a "woman" am socialized
not to be confrontational, or if I just simply don't like communicating
when I'm in that space.
Just thought I'd put that out there.
Emily
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