k vajda
RTF 393Q: Topics in Convergent Media - Sound
Fall 2000

all apologies

all apologies was a sound installation initially designed for the Passing Through Walls exhibit at the University of Texas at Austin. The installation consists of eight small voice-recorder modules. The modules consist of a record/playback feature, which allows for 20 seconds of recorded sound, a small speaker, and a 9 volt battery. For the Passing Through Walls exhibit each module was mounted below a bench in the courtyard of Goldsmith Hall (see diagram below). For class presentations, the piece was installed in the west elevator of CMB in the Communications complex (see diagram below).

all apologies is not about the acts of contrition we perform for genuine transgressions, but the unnecessary apologies women make for things that couldn't possibly be our fault. These apologies then become rites of self-mortification and self-deprecation, and that almost masochistic impulse breeds self-reflexive misogyny. These reflexive expressions of empathy become used as punctuation, an utterance detached from meaning. Ritual apology becomes a disclaimer attached to everything said. Reflexive apologies haunt our contributions-at work, at home, anywhere-with the implied message that these are not the fruit of our hard labor and native intelligence but random occurrences, a lucky mishap. With each apology we manage to negate ourselves and our ideas, deeming us/them as unworthy and insignificant.

I picture all apologies becoming a widespread phenomenon. Apologies coming from payphone vestibules, candy machines, parking meters, photocopiers, coke cans, gas pumps...please accept my deepest apologies if you have problems with the installation. I'm so sorry, really I am.

move cursor over benches/speakers to hear audio. click them to start a loop.

figure 1a. diagram of installation in goldsmith hall courtyard

figure 1b. diagram of installation in CMB west elevator