The Paris Hilton Scandal

Paris on Rex
"That one is such a doll. No, really. He makes a fabulous white chocolate martini. Well, his personal bartender does anyway. Even though he did leave some very personal belongings of mine in a Louis Vuitton bag at the Playboy mansion and cost my father millions of dollars in damage control… is there anything bad I could say about him? Not really. He is such a doll."

Rex on Paris
"She is such a dumpling, Paris. A very thin blonde dumpling! A noodle, maybe? In school, we used to compete over who could show the most skin. I guess we all know who won that one, right? Such a charming girl, though, on or off the farm. And that Louis Vuitton bag? I had to make a decision between a practically out off season tote full of videotapes and a refresher on my Stoli Vanilla ginger ale. Whatever."

Justin Timberlake on the Mickey Mouse Club
Justin on Rex
"Man, Rex is so cool. We used to kick it back on the Mickey Mouse club together, right, and he was like always wearing that hat! The one with the ears, right? He like, started that. And I mean real low key, and always down to chill, or for a massage or whatever. Really good with his hands, even back then! He was the only one who thought that MMC would lead to anything… and was he ever right!"
Rex on Justin
"What can I say about BritJustin? She is such a charming person, and a dedicated performer. I have never met anyone like BritJustin. And BritJustin is an amazing performer of course. So dedicated to being amazing… oh… I'm talking about Justin? Well, I'm not going to make anything new up, just go back through and type in Justin."


Conspicuous Drug Usage with Michael Alig!

Michael on Rex

Oh ghurl, I am the queen of the club kids! Rex? I said she can do a bump or a rail or a cap or a tweak or I am so fabulous darling! or a you got another tab? On a box would you do a bump with a fox? I’m famous! More drugs!


Michael Alig seen giving Rex drugs by paparazzi

Rex on Michael

Yes, it is true. I used to do the scene thing with M. Alig but I am completely over those crazy days now. There comes a time when a boy has to realize that it is just another party with the same people and the same drugs. I can’t stand it, honestly. Poor Michael never stopped, and look what happened. Played by Macauley Culkin in an independent film. We used to be so fabulous together, you know. Well I was always a little more fabulous of course. In fact, he was never much of anything more than an accessory. He is locked up, right?