FAQs:

What is an emasculating penis cozy?

It's a fluffy pink knitted thing which would probably be kind of hot and scratchy if you actually used it to keep your genitals warm.

What is the deal with the cozy and why the heck would you want to make one?

It symbolizes a controlling, emasculating femininity that masquerades as selfless nurturing.

Is the controlling / smothering / emasculating impulse hidden in feminine nurturing behaviors a real thing or just the result of masculine paranoia?

Well, both, really. Is it mostly one or the other? Well, I don't know. What do you think?

What kind of yarn is the cozy made of?

Rowan Big Wool Fusion

Is there a pattern I can use to knit my own cozy?

Not yet, but there will be soon.