Ya know, the hope chest is also known as a dowry chest, a wedding chest or a trousseau. Just be glad we're not in England where they call it a glory box or I would be dissecting an enormous vagina right now.

Alright, let's start out with my vices. Cigarettes are a must. Ooh, and alcohol: liquid courage, right? Maybe I'll just take a little sip of this to calm the nerves. Much better.

A dragonfly, to represent my irrational fear of dragonflies. I was coming home from my family's trip to Europe, traveling for 24 hours, pretty worn out. I reach for the screen door and the biggest dragonfly I've ever seen in my life swoops down from the sky, lands on my arm, and promptly dies. Something that big dying on you cannot be a good omen.

Condoms, because you can never me too safe. And let's throw in some Magnum condoms too. I'm an optimist.

My little black book. pause Ya know what? I'm not leaving for 9 months, I think I'll hold on to this for now.Ok, that about does it for the vices. Now for my virtues.