This is a wonderful piece of artwork that I keep on my refrigerator as
a reminder. And now for the poem.
Medicine is Weird Science
I never really knew what was an emergency
room,
Until I started working there.
I never really knew how weird people were,
Until they sat across from me to stare.
Drunks coming in to sleep it off.
Psychs coming in for 3 hots and a cot.
I never really knew the
weird side of medicine,
Until I'd collected these stories to share.
My first glimpse of death was a 25-year-old DOA.
Alcohol poisoning is what the doctor said.
My first glimpse of life, at least the potential,
A miscarried baby in a Dairy Queen cup, quite dead.
Drug seeking patients who will lie to
your face.
Bipolar patients going through a manic phase.
My first glimpse of despair was a little girl, whose mother was
beaten,
For the safety of that child many tears I did shed (that's who gave me the above picture).
It wasn't all death, despair, and hopelessness.
Most times I would sit back and smile.
It wasn't all heartache, suffering, and sadness.
Though many of those records I did file.
You can't dwell on all the times that
were sad.
You've got to remember the weird things and laugh instead.
It wasn't all as bad as it could've been.
Believe me not all was tribulation and trial.
My favorite disease that no one had--SARS.
My favorite description of a body part--A scrotum the size of a
football.
My favorite prank call--"Can you get an STD from a chicken?"
My favorite nickname for a patient--Roger Rabbit (because of the way
she called for help, "P-p-p-please!").
My most embarrassing moment--Walking in on a friend giving a urine
sample.
My favorite thing I've found in Lost & Found--An old man's cane
(how cool is that?)
My favorite reason for taking a $500 ambulance ride--"I stubbed my toe."
And my all time favorite reason given by a patient to see a
doctor--"Somethin's eatin' my vagina!"
So...
If you
want to learn how to tell a PID from appendicitis
Just by looking at her walk.
If you want to hear the one about projectile diarrhea to the eye,
You can come to me to talk.
I've been spat on, bled on, and
proposed to twice.
I had to learn Spanish and how to look for lice.
If you want to know more about my weird ER stories,
There's plenty more in stock.
Here is me presenting my project.
Project
2
How I came up with
the idea.
For my second project, I
wanted to create something. I didn't have a lot of money, so I
used things that I had around the house. The thing that inspired
all of this was a movie we had just seen in class, Mary Shelley's
Frankenstein. I have always been a big fan of movies in general,
and only recently been into horror flicks. So I decided to
compile all the posters I could find from the various Frankenstein
monster movies ever made, then make my own monster out of clay.
How it relates to
weird science.
To find a way to make my
monster, I went online and did a general search for weird science
projects that one could do using materials found at home. I found
this cool little website that had a project building a monster out of
clay, sticking paper clips in the sides to use as bolts, and then using
a balloon to create sparks thus bringing the creation to life.
Unfortunately, the air conditions in the actlab room were not what I
needed to create sparks. But I did have fun testing it at my
apartment (I got some pretty big sparks).
It's science...weird science.
|
•
Frankenstein's popularity is partly
because it is the first modern myth that used science to release the
monster.
|
It's alive!
"I saw the dull yellow eye of the
creature open; it breathed hard, and a convulsive motion agitated its
limbs." --Mary Shelley's
Frankenstein
Frankenstein 2000 2 (1985)
Frankenstein and the Monster From
Hell 2
Bride of
Frankenstein (1935)
Frankenstein Unbound (1990)
Hellzapoppin (1941)
I Was a Teenage Frankenstein (1957)
Frankenstein Monster 4
The Lady and the Monster
Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell 3 (1973)
I Was a Teenage Frankenstein 2 (1957)
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man 2 (1943)
Frankenstein Monster 1
Frankenstein (1910)
Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell (1973)
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)
The Bride (1984)
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
Frankenstein Monster 2
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
Bride of Frankenstein 2 (1935)
Frankenstein Monster 3
Frankenstein 2000 (1985)
The Revenge of Frankenstein
House of Frankenstein
And now...for my own creation.
Final Project
How I came up with
the idea.
For my final project, I
enlisted the help of my boyfriend, Billy (Lucky), and his roommate, Ian
(Spud). They had been talking for awhile about all the great
ideas they always have and how they should turn them into a
company. So they created Lucky Spud Industries. I helped
them along with some logo and branding ideas. I composited all of
these ideas into a folder that can easily be used to pitch ideas in
meetings, or just randomly handed out to spread the word about Lucky
Spud. I did all of the drawings by hand.
How it relates to
weird science.
Weird Science includes
zany ideas and cool inventions that people come up with along the
way. It all started back with the air pump. Anyway, I
wanted to do something with my hands and create something that people
could see and not just conceptualize. I have a vision for
the company, and I think Lucky and Spud approve.
Disclaimer
Everything
you see here is patent pending by Lucky Spud Industries.
By viewing these ideas, you solemnly swear that you will not steal
anything
to make a profit for yourself. I know these are really great
ideas, but they belong
to someone else, so get your own ideas.
Here is a picture
of the brains behind Lucky Spud Industries.
Lucky Spud Industries was co-founded
by my boyfriend, Sgt. William Wood, and his roommate, Sgt. Ian
Bittenbender. They are better known as Lucky and Spud. This
company was created so that all the ideas that the two of them came up
with could be realized. Of course then they decided that they
were too lazy to actually build any of the stuff they wanted, so they
came up with the idea factory. It's basically a giant warehouse
with two recliners and a lot of video games and beer. They could
sit all day and come up with wonderful ideas that other people would
buy and put into production. The new slogan for the company would
be We Give You Nothing.
Eazy Beanz was created because while Lucky and Spud were in Iraq
(for the army) they had plenty of Easy Cheese and crackers. Lucky
thought it would be a marvelous idea if beans could also be put into a
can that could easily spray out onto a cracker. Being from Texas,
adding beans to a snack was a logical solution. Even though Spud
is from New York, he was tired of just plain old cheese and crackers,
so he went along with the idea.
Sprunt was also the brainchild of Lucky. He actually came up with
the idea back in high school when he noticed a large number of girls
who always smelled kind of fishy. Spud and Lucky have since come
up with several campaign ideas including a television spot that would
show a woman sprawled out asleep on the bed, and her boyfriend sneaking
around the corner holding a bottle of the spray. This would
empower men to do something about smells they do not enjoy.
Hov Chair might actually be an idea of Spud's. I can't narrow
down who exactly came up with it first. At any rate, it's
genius. It is the ultimate lazy man's recliner. A guy could
do all sorts of things while never leaving his chair. And he
would not be confined to the house. Hov Chair would be able to
fit into the car; the driver seat would just have to be removed.
There are no limits as to where Hov Chair can take you.
Rocket Ship is also an idea of Spud's. It is comprised of Lucky's
and Spud's cars. The body is Spud's VW Golf. The wings are
Dodge Stratus doors from Lucky's car. They figured that NASA
would want to buy this idea, mainly because they are the only ones that
might actually fund something like this. Of course the driver's
and passenger's seats would be taken out so that Lucky and Spud could
ride comfortably in their Hov Chairs.
I believe Monkey was a collaborative idea. Both men are very good
at imitating monkeys in both sound and gesture. The idea behind
this little gem is that it might be fun to fight a monkey. What
better way to end your boring and frustrating 9 to 5 job then to come
home to a sword-wielding monkey and fight for your life. The
television spot would start off with a guy coming home from work.
He puts the key in the door and opens it very slowly. He barely
pushes his head inside and looks around the room. "Monkey?" he
says. Then from the back room we hear slight monkey noises that
become louder and louder as the monkey charges toward him, sword in
hand. Everyone will want one.
Pirate Monkey is just an extension of Monkey. Lucky and Spud
thought it would be cool to have a whole line of interesting
monkeys. That way no one would ever get bored with just one
Monkey. Pirate Monkey has a patch over one eye, a hook for a
hand, and a wooden peg leg. But don't be fooled. Instead of
putting him at a disadvantage, these things have only enraged the
monkey. His fury is 10 times greater than regular Monkey.
Space Monkey is the third installment of Monkey. Of course he
could only be fought in space, so the purchase of Rocket Ship would be
absolutely necessary. Space Monkey has mastered the elements in
space and is therefore a more difficult component than Monkey here on
earth.
List is another thing that Lucky and Spud thought they could do while
sitting in their factory. People would write into them asking for
a list. They would include a check or money order for $19.95 plus
shipping and handling. They must aloow 6-8 weeks for the list to
arrive. This idea was born out of the list-making that took place
back at the house where Lucky and Spud live. They would need to
go shopping, so they would comprise a list. However, the
lsit-making process was more involved than they realized. Once
the list was made, it was put on the refrigerator and left for another
day when they had energy enough to do the actual shopping. This
was followed by at least a two-day recovery period filled with beer
drinking, video game playing, and just plain lying around the house.
Here is a picture
of me presenting my final project.
The End