Written in 2005 by Jason Nguyen

Edited by Jodi Egerton

Asian Cowboy

An Asian can be a cowboy. Actually, a Vietnamese guy can be a cowboy. Well more accurately, a Vietnamese kid can play a cowboy for a western stunt show.

Seriously. No joke.

Honestly, there is nothing a white cowboy can do that a Vietnamese kid could not. I am living proof. I have shown horsemanship and proved to many audience members that I was neither Native American nor Jackie Chan.
           My story began when I auditioned for a western stunt show at Six Flags Over Texas called Rangers and Outlaws. It was senior year of high school and I was looking for a summer job. At first, my theatre director was reluctant to tell me about the audition because he thought there was no place for an Asian kid in a western stunt show.
            He said they wanted “cowboys” who were at least 18, could act, and were versatile in anything. I told him I was 18, “versatile” in martial arts, and able to act… somewhat. At the time I was a technical theatre student.
            I convinced him to tell me by saying, “auditioning for this show would give me a great learning experience whether I got the job or not.” Then I slipped him a donut and smiled.
            So I made my way to the audition and not knowing what to expect.
            At the audition, I noticed I was the only Asian guy there. In fact, I was the most ethnic person there other than two Hispanic guys. I was the black egg in a the pickled egg jar. Anyone could have spotted me easily and said, “that kid doesn’t belong in a western stunt show. Who does he think he is? Jackie Chan”?
            I felt completely out of place.
            You may be wondering, “Why does he stay and audition when he knows it’s a western stunt show and he’s the only Asian guy there!”
            It was a long forty-minute drive to Six Flags. Like hell I was going to drive forty-minutes back home for nothing.
            So I stayed and had my first experience in all that was theatre and western in one day. I had my first experience on a horse, falling forty feet off of a platform onto a mat, and giving an excellent (more like “BS-ing”) monologue.
            Two weeks later, I got the job.
            You’re probably thinking, “this is total crap… an Asian guys got a part in a western stunts who. What is he going to do … build railroads in the background?”
            No building railroads for me. I played a character called Yippi, a “good for nothing” silver thief in a gang. In the show, a horse drags me by a rope and I fall thirty feet off from the top of an exploding building onto a mat.
            Pretty cool, huh? Not bad for a first job after high school.
            Now, you’re probably wondering what my cast members thought of me. Well… they didn’t know what to think of me. At first they were just as confused as everyone else.
            “How the hell did he get a part in this show?
            I had no previous experience with horseback riding and I had to learn how to ride within the two weeks of rehearsals.
            “Asians can’t ride,” they would say.
            Bastards. Crap like that didn’t stop me. I just pretended they were all ignorant and carried on. Like Asia didn’t have horses back in the day… Come on people. We all watch Asian movies in America. You can see armies of Asians on horses in films like Jet Li’s Hero or Tom Cruise’s The Last Samurai.
            Later, they found out that I knew some martial arts. We were practicing our fake punches on one another and they noticed how fast I was. From then on, I was known as the “Asian Bad Ass.”
            Does every Asian need to know martial arts to be noticed? Let’s add being smart in physics, engineering, and accounting… shall we? We don’t have to be stereotyped into four categories.
            Then they would give me terrible advice when I had problems with my horse.
            “You’re pretty coordinated and flexible in martial arts… you should be able to ride well,” they would say.
            Yeah right! What a load of crap. Knowing martial arts does not make anyone a super human, able to perform anything and everything. Martial art is meant to kick ass, people. Most of all, the horse was old and probably hated life.
            My horse, named Mouse, sucked! THE WORST HORSE TO LEARN HORSEBACK RIDING EVER!!!
            Known as our bucking horse, this mule would buck me off his back several times during the show. He would never comply, always have his snout up in the horse’s butt in front of him, and crash into another horse after he bucked me off. Obviously, Mouse didn’t like me.
            That ass.
            By the time shows started, my cast thought I was a decent rider. All thanks to my giant spurs of course.
            Even the audience noticed I was a decent rider too. People would give me good compliments every single day. On the other hand, I would get weird ass comments at least once every single day.
            At the end of each show, we do a “meet and greet” for the audience to greet us and pet our horses. Normally, people would compliment each cast member on their performance or ask if the stunts and pyrotechnics were real. When people came to me, they would always and only ask me about my ethnicity. “Are you Native American? Hispanic… Are you sure you don’t have Native American in ya?”
            They’re standing two feet away from me, “what are you?” At least ask me if I was Chinese. How demeaning… I just smile and say, “I’m Vietnamese.”
            Sometime total “weirdos” or “not so bright folk” get me confused with someone else. This one guy asked my fellow cast member, John, if I was actually Jackie Chan. He gave him a “are you stupid” look and simply said, “No, he is not Jackie Chan.” Then the guy came over to me and said, “Dang man, I thought you were Jackie Chan out there! You sure move like him! Ya’ll look alike with yer hair all long.”
            At the moment, I didn’t know what to say. I had the urge to say, “Man, you’re dumb.” I should’ve “Jackie Chan-ed” his ass. But, I said, “thanks” and smiled.
            Afterwards, John told the whole cast about the crazy guy and said, “Like Jackie Chan would work at the Six Flags stunt show!”
            Although, people do give good comments occasionally… I guess.
            At the beginning of each show, we did a drill pattern with the horses. Right at the moment I rode out, I saw this white guy (wearing a NASCAR shirt) stand up and yell Native American gibberish. Seconds later, he started dancing in the bleachers as if he was trying to do the “rain dance.”
            Holy crap! We got a loon in the bleachers.
            At the meet and greet, the NASCAR guy came up to me and asked me if I was from an Indian reservation.
            Hell no!
            Then NASCAR guy started rambling about how he lived in an Indian reservation for years and what a great place it was.
            “You look just like a Native American with your long hair,” he said, “Heck, those guys are great!”
            Well that’s fantastic. Should I become Native American to be a great guy? Although, he did congratulate me on my performance. At least he didn’t say I was a “tough Japanese girl who can fall off building well,” as one red neck lady did one time… An usher was the one who told me about the “Japanese girl comment.”
            I was pissed off.
            Then the usher thought it would be funny to tell the entire cast.
            I got really pissed. How embarrassing. That comment won’t go away anytime soon.
            So When you see or hear about an Asian guy playing a cowboy or an Asian guy playing a Native American… or a Native American playing an “Asian Bad Ass” in a western stunt show, you’ll know it’s me. Despite all the oddities I went through on a daily basis, people complemented me well on my horsemanship and stunt performance. Just look for the Asian with long hair and don’t mistake me for a tough Japanese girl who falls off building well.